THE BEGINNING...

Until this very minute I'm still not over with someone...i don't know but when I fall in love its really for real.i had my first girlfriend in high school...i was 16...so young...so innocent...a virgin...i fell in love with this beautiful girl in the other class...i dont know if I should be proud of this but she actually courted me.she sent love letters almost everyday. She passed by my classroom whenever she had free time just to show her interest with me.At first, I felt awkward and annoyed but later on I realized i also like... or love her.And so we had this thing on for almost a year.We kept that relationship a secret for some reasons I can't disclose here...hehehhe...We were happy together until someone from her class started courting her while messing up with me...That guy made horrible stories that destroyed us.My girl and I fought and decided to call it quits. I thought it was all her fault...I put all the blame on her...I know it was stupid...We could've fixed things up but it was already too late.We were both hurt already.it was all but a terrible mistake. I think I was the most dramatic guy in the planet at that time.I cried not just rivers but oceans...hehehhe...I was overacting coz I've never thought that love can be so painful and Ive never experienced that kind of freakin pain in my whole freakin life ...It was excruciating that I promised never to fall in love ever again...

I still felt that pain even til college...the trauma was still there and it made me weaker...its as if the pain grows more and more every time i think of her and of what had happened...i felt guilty...empty...hopeless...

One day...someone sat on my lap during our PE class...its name is L...L is nice and really friendly...The class ran out of chairs that time so L asked me if L can sit on my lap...i okayed and that started something...I don't know but there was some spark that made me realized I like L so much...It was a crazy, queer and forbidden feeling...thats why i opted to just keep it to myself...and from that time on...EVERYTHING IN ME CHANGED...

Loving L was also hard or i think harder than the one in high school...Twas hard coz i didn't know how to express it.L was into someone that time and I had no idea how to get L...I thought its impossible to be with L...and I was right...after some weeks L was into another relationship...I let go of L and continued life...

After sometime...I met W in McDonalds...W was physically gifted...I courted W but W just ignored me so I did exactly the same thing too..I thought we could be better off as friends...

After W came R...hmmmm....R corrupted me...R showed me the world I wasnt supposed to see...R was like my eye opener...I met R's family and thought we would last long...but that never happened...I left R alone. R's still very immature...I didn't want to raise a kid...I love R but sometimes you have to let go of someone you love for that person to be happier...R has a lot of issues . I just can't stand people who have issues coz i have mine as well...But I truly love R...I gave my "other" innocence to R and I never regret doing such...Love can really make you do stupid and nasty things...

So I decided to be alone...I enjoyed life being alone...But after a year I met E...I was in a theater that time watching a Spanish movie...I was trying to practice Spanish so I went to watch that boring movie.Someone from my side asked me the time and that started my days with E...E is a very good singer...E taught me how to be confident singing in public...Everytime I was with E I felt great joy and extraordinary excitement...Every minute with E is like heaven to me...I admit I love E until now...

I celebrated my birthday with E in an island and that was the most romantic and unforgettable time of my life...that moment still haunts me these days...We made love under the moonlight...E sang the birthday song that soothed to my being...We held hands and embraced like there's no one else in that island but us...E made me and that moment very special...E fulfilled my fantasies...E was and is everything to me...

TO BE CONTINUED...